She woke up at 8 in the morning, straining her ears for any movement from her other family members. She's scared, afraid that her mother will barge into her room screaming profanities in her ears. She knew that she had to wake up but her sleepy state didn't allow her to do just that. And at 10 she finally woke up, for real this time. The house seemed quiet enough, but who knew if her mother was downstairs, ready to tell her what a useless child she was, that her being in this world was a mistake. She got that a lot but you get used to it after a while.
But she didn't. It hurts every time.
Her younger brother by 3 years of age difference was out, doing God knows what with his friends. But her, she was stuck in this hellhole that she was supposed to call a home. Times after times, she asked her parents to let her out. She wanted to have fun, to feel free. But their answer was always a no. And her brother always got a yes even if he was being a brat. She learned to accept that, that he will always be their favourite child no matter what bad things he did and what good things that she did.
Stepping out of a quick shower, she got dressed and went downstairs. She let out a sigh of relief after scanning the whole area. Her mother was not here and the table was empty. She's left alone again. That, she got used to. Being an unwanted family member gave her that, loneliness.
That afternoon, her mother called the house telephone and by the tone of her voice she knew that her mother was not in a bad mood. Her mother asked her to do the laundry, cook the rice and some dishes. And she did all of them, happy that maybe she'll see that she's trying to be a good daughter. That maybe she can be her favourite child for once.
The squid and the rice were cooking away, the chicken was already marinated in the spice mix she made and the clothes were all left to dry in the hot sun. Her given chores were all done. Her brother and his friends were chilling out at the front of her house, playing the guitar, talking and laughing after a game of football. She rarely got to meet her friends on the weekend. even if she did, it would be after a long lecture of how her parents were giving her anything she wanted. Funny that didn't happen with her brother, he got an immediate yes with an added bonus; money. And still, she learned to accept that. He was their favourite child after all.
She made the lunch that day with her father, spicy squid sambal and fried chicken were ready for her family members to devour. She took pride that they were eating the food she made, even going for seconds.
She relaxed in the evening, the works were already done for her. Unless she forgot to do something her mother asked. She stole a glance outside the sliding door. Thank god the clothes were already inside, she thought. She went online, her only place to get out of her house while still being in it, free from the tight clutch of her parents. Where she can be happy even though it was forced. But she needed to be 'happy' or else.
Or else she would go crazy.
She retreated to her bedroom, carrying a stapler gun; a request from her fellow classmate. They're going to decorate the classroom. The school, it was like a safe haven for her. A place where her friends were always there by her side, a place where she was wanted. And this year, she had a battle. A battle with the soldiers printed on papers; SPM. Some studied to make their parents happy, some would study to make their parents proud. She'd been there, or else she won't get that rare warm embrace from her mother with tears dripping out of her eyes for getting 7As and 1B on PMR. But what came after that short hug was "You just got lucky. I bet the grades went down." They were the words of her mother and just like that her hard work vanished into thin air. Her hard work was nothing for her mother and she was done with that.
She'll study for the SPM but not for someone else. It's for herself, for her to get out of this place, far far away from her 'family'. Somewhere she belonged. Her fiery thoughts were cut off by the scream of her name. Rushing out of the bedroom, she looked downstairs to find her mother seething with anger. Crap, what did I do now? she thought.
"Did you hang the clothes?! Did you hear what I told you to do?!" she questioned with rage in her every word. She replied "No, I-" but was cut off by her mother. She spit out the words of her daily nightmare, "Useless child, stupid! You're good for nothing!" and left her daughter on top of the stairs choking back a sob that's threatening to come out.
She moved her legs quickly to where her mother stood and tried to grab a damp shirt that was meant to be hanged by now. "What are you doing here?! Get out!" her mother screamed and whipped a shirt on her body. She obeyed her mother's wish and scrambled out of there to get to her room with tears brimming in her eyes.
There, she wrapped herself with her blanket, crying quietly hoping that some way, some day she'll be able to get out of this nightmare.
How was it? Did you cry reading it? If you did, that means I succeeded as a writer to project emotions through words. I hope you did, I was aiming for some tears. Lol
And no, it's not about me or anyone I know.
