So, this is a completely random post. I just have to get my thoughts and stuff out of my head. I'll probably delete it later. Who knows? :p
I'm extremely jelly with all these people that have these perfect life. Where their problems are not as worst as mine yet they fuss about the little things. Or the ones that has problems that are worst than mine but can still have an awesome life. They have all these people around them. Family, lover and friends. It's not that I'm saying I don't have these awesome people, in fact I'm surrounded by them. And it just makes me feel, you know, less. Like I'm lack of everything, like I'm just that average girl that has no specialty with all these people that have their own uniqueness.
I'm just tired of this all. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay. I'm tired of faking my smiles and laughs. I'm tired of this whole facade that I'm this happy teenage girl that doesn't have any dang problem. I'm tired of showing people that I have a normal life but I actually don't. I'm exhausted.
I know I can't just be like "I want a perfect life with unicorns and rainbows." I know that but I want to, escape, fly somehow to get away from this clump of messiness that's surrounding myself. I want to find that tranquility, that serenity that would put my mind at ease. Which I hope someday I would find it hiding somewhere in the corner.
That feeling of freedom where you feel like you're capable of doing anything you want to do. I think that's what I'm searching for. I won't know what route I'm going to take on this journey called life. I truly hope that if one day I found that route I'm taking, I found the right one that'll lead me to my destination.
Fuhh, that felt good. It was like some kind of therapy or something. For those stressed people, try it.
